"Guy
Monroe's approach engages a person at the deepest level of their unconscious.
His teaching style is not only fun, it is also growthful, healing, and
empowering."
Caveh Zahedi - Actor, Director, Film Maker
Shyness
is a problem suffered by millions of people, all over the world. The good
news is, you can overcome this seemingly overwhelming experience by applying
two winning techniques. First, we will seek out limiting beliefs, and
apply proactive life skills. .
Call 512.554.8771 or Request
a Complimentary Consultation.
There are two types of shyness: The obvious and not so obvious. Type One: Shake, sweat, are visibly uncomfortable in social situations, etc. and the not so obvious: Type Two: Those who avoid eye contact, are quiet, tend to look away from others or look at the floor. Unfortunately, those interact with the shy person, especially the Type Two: often misinterpret this behavior as being deceptive, aloof or arrogant.
When we avoid what we desire, on some level it can feel like a "tiny" betrayal. These "tiny" betrayals can add up. It is time to forgive, and give yourself the tools required to create the changes you desire in your life. This is a new path. Make sure to reward yourself often. Acknowledge every "tiny" accomplishment, regardless of size or perceived value. Pat yourself on the back often. Time to become your biggest fan. Be kind to yourself. Be positive. No longer provide fuel for the inner critic. Doubt and fear can be destroyed if we are willing to focus on the positive. Question all limiting points of view, and take "small" actions that will create the positive changes you desire.
Here are a few practical tools that will assist you greatly.
1. Explore Limiting
Beliefs :: Is It True?
Ask a question... Is the following belief
true or false? Question beliefs that restrict you or no longer serve you.
Learn how to ask "high quality" questions from people who know
how, and you will know how to self-inquire. When you discover how to self-inquire,
the limiting beliefs that once enslaved you, will fall away. Many people
are unaware that shyness is created by perfectionism and ongoing self-criticism
strategies. Perfectionism and self-criticism can be overcome. The key
is to become aware the tools you choose, in order to accomplish a task.
There are better ways. Self-criticism is a choice. A choice that's become
an old habit. So old in fact, that we've forgotten we had a choice to
choose something else. We can choose a different strategy, one that will
not only provide better results, but also make the process much more enjoyable,
even fun.
2. Inner Dialogue
:: Death Of The Inner Critic...
Kindness is the best way to get rid of
the inner critical voice. The unkind voice is a creation fueled by picking
on ourselves. The inner critic was invented in an attempt to never fail
again. We thought it would assist us, it does not. Mistakes are a part
of life. They let us know what doesn't work. Mastery comes from a series
of course corrections, made by best guesses. Mistakes are a required part
of the process. When embraced as OK, the inner critic disappears. The
inner critic can be silenced with training.
3. Proactive Skill
:: Conversation Topics...
Good conversationalists have developed a number of subjects or topics
used to break the ice. Never leave home without a list of conversation
topics. Select topics that interest you. Your target, is to provide yourself
with enough conversational support, that you relax in public. When you
are relaxed, you are more fun to be around. Talking about things that
are of interest to you, are a great idea. There are many fun topics others
will enjoy. If you're going to a party, brush up on topics of interest.
If your going to work, think about the activities your co-workers may
have planned for the weekend. Brush up on current events, the weather
and anything else that might be the type of small-talk you desire to begin
a conversation with. Create at least a half-dozen topics to talk about.
4. Proactive Skill
:: I'm Feeling Shy today...
You have an option. You can let people you desire to connect with know,
"you're feeling a little shy today". Use your judgment. Don't share
this information with people you don't wish to connect with. On the other
hand, if you avoid people, look down instead of making eye contact, stammer
and stutter, etc. in social situations, people are going to make asumptions
which may not be in your favor. Remember, while you are getting over your
shyness, telling others where you are at can sometimes be a good thing.
5. Proactive Skill
:: How Can I Make The World Better?
When we're hit with so much restriction, we tend to focus on ourselves.
We may begin to believe that we are unhealthy or broken. This simply is
not the case. The choices may be innefective, and we may tend to focus
on what we hope won't occur, instead of focusing on what we desire. But
we are whole. It's the tools we are choosing that keep letting us down.
Now it's time to choose better tools. Ask yourself: What choices would
an outgoing person choose to create the kind of changes I desire in my
life? What do I desire? What actions are required of me in order to make
them appear?
6. Proactive Skill
:: Helping Others..
How might I be of greater service to others? What if I were to assist
others? How would helping others make me more outgoing? What are the qualities
of people who create a lot of positive change in the world? What can I
do right now to make someone's life better?
7. Proactive Skill
:: Social Activities to Connect with Self..
Seek out programs offered by community colleges and education classes
offered in local health and wellness magazines. These are great ways to
explore connecting with yourself in a more nurturing way. Local Yoga classes,
dance classes, etc. It's important to know that the isolation many shy
people experience is not with other people. It's with themselves. The
kind of classes I suggest, involve being with other people in activities
that will permit you to explore your inner self and begin to quiet the
inner critic by aquiring some mastery in the area of permission to fail,
to make mistakes, to move at your pace. I highly suggest classes like
movement expression classes, self kindness classes, free style dance events,
etc. Seek out experiences that require no specific form and social scenes
that do not require an exact way of performing.
8. Proactive Skill
:: Relaxing Your Mind and Body..
Practice relaxing your mind and body in order to get a sense of mastery
in your ability to relax yourself during potentially stress filled situations.
Work with teachers and trainers who will show you how tension is created,
stored and can be easily released from the body.
Summary
This is of course just a sampling of the possibilities that can be created
through questioning questioning our limiting belifs and taking practive
action . The most important thing
to remember is to be kind to yourself. Be patient, forgiving and supportive.
Some changes may take more time than others. Develop an awareness to to
be aware of when changes occur and acknowledge every small win, like a
major trophy. This is how we become aware that we are the ones creating
real change in our lives. Ask many questions, get clear about what you
desire. Set easy to obtain wins. The life you desire is built upon a million
tiny wins. This is a new habit for many. A different approach. I assure
you it will change your life. If you have a question on how to do this,
call me 512.554.8771
or Request a Complimentary
Consultation.Make
it fun for you!
Guy
Monroe is available for public speaking engagements, corporate and private
training.
Other web sites include
GuyMonroe.com and
AustinVocalLab.com and FearlessSpeakings.net
and
StopStutterNow.com
Call 512.554.8771 or Request
a Complimentary Consultation.
